Today was a busy day for the Society for Mormon Philosophy and Theology. Professor Dan Graham spoke on the Early Christian Fathers' conceptions of free will, Jordan Barrett spoke on the eternality of God, Charles Harrel on foreordination in Alma 13, Robert Smith on Book of Mormon theology, and Benjamin Huff spoke on the book of the weeping God. The plenary session featured a panel discussion consisting of Terryl Givens, Daniel Peterson, and Ralph Hancock, who each addressed the topic of secular norms and the scholarship of faith. In the evening session, Grant Hardy spoke on the promise of Book of Mormon theology. I took copious notes, and have even more copious questions.
I could liken this experience of being initiated into the world of Mormon theological interpretation to a person's attempt to drink from a fire hose, but it was more like a flea trying to drink from Niagra Falls. I did manage to imbibe perhaps a few droplets of theological H20, but nothing has quenched my thirst quite like drinking directly from the living waters, nor left me quite as refreshed as moments in which pure doctrine has distilled upon my soul as the dews from heaven.
But setting aside all philosophy and theology, I would like to mention three highlights of this day. First, dinner at a Korean restaurant that served one of my favorite drinks, grape Sac Sac. Second, an evening conversation with some of the participants in the conference about some of the strange phenomena of Mormonism, and third, a joke that Professor Peterson told that he borrowed from Emo Philips (voted the 44th funniest joke of all time in "The 75 Funniest Jokes of All Time" in GQ Magazine, June 1999):
Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, "Don't do it!"
He said, "Nobody loves me."
I said, "God loves you. Do you believe in God?"
He said, "Yes."
I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?"
He said, "A Christian."
I said, "Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?"
He said, "Protestant."
I said, "Me, too! What franchise?"
He said, "Baptist."
I said, "Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?"
He said, "Northern Baptist."
I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"
He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist."
I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region."
I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?"
He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912."
I said, "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him over."
But setting aside all philosophy and theology, I would like to mention three highlights of this day. First, dinner at a Korean restaurant that served one of my favorite drinks, grape Sac Sac. Second, an evening conversation with some of the participants in the conference about some of the strange phenomena of Mormonism, and third, a joke that Professor Peterson told that he borrowed from Emo Philips (voted the 44th funniest joke of all time in "The 75 Funniest Jokes of All Time" in GQ Magazine, June 1999):
Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, "Don't do it!"
He said, "Nobody loves me."
I said, "God loves you. Do you believe in God?"
He said, "Yes."
I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?"
He said, "A Christian."
I said, "Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?"
He said, "Protestant."
I said, "Me, too! What franchise?"
He said, "Baptist."
I said, "Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?"
He said, "Northern Baptist."
I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"
He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist."
I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region."
I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?"
He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912."
I said, "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him over."
